Rejuvenatrix (1988)Dir by Brian Thomas Jones, Videoclip : Healthy dose of gore, a cheesy all girl 80's band, and a neat story make this a worthy viewing. There are some great brain eating scenes, freaky mutations, and creature barf that oughta please fans of weird slimy f/x. The story is just about how some washed up old actress is funding a scientist's research on an anti-aging drug. When she gets impatient and uses the medication in its dangerous experimental phase, everything seems fine...at first. Her dreams have come true but later dreams become nightmare and all hell breaks loose! When she transforms to a creature, eating human brains is the only way to morph back to normal. It plays out like a Jekyl and Hyde movie. No DVD release yet and the bootlegs are more expensive than getting an original VHS, just get a tape for a couple bucks if you want it. GORE = 8.5 SHIT = Awesome Cheese DEATH = to you

Revenge of the Radioactive News Reporter (1990) Dir by Craig Pryce: As soon as you see the box it looks like a Toxic Avenger rip-off. Well the make-up kinda screams that but overall this wasn’t as goopy and bloody as a Troma film. A very sappy love story with a few b-movie elements, reminds me of Darkman on a lower budget and cheese-stenched actors. Basically some reporter who knows too much about a greedy corporation’s toxic pollution is throw into a pool of green water where the corporation thought he died. Little did they know he became a mutated freak! Now his mission is to stop the corporation from killing his girlfriend who too knows “too much”, re-connect with his girlfriend that thinks he’s dead, and last but not least, he needs uhh..revenge!…you see where this is going. Both intentional and unintentional humor (the satire on corporations was clever) and one detached head are a few highlights. It’s all right, I wouldn’t bother hunting it down though. No boring parts, mildly fun, kill a Saturday afternoon with it. GORE = 3 SHIT = okay cheese trash DEATH = to nobody really

Rocktober Blood (1984) Dir by Beverly Sebastian: Heavy metal themed horror movies don’t get any better than this. The soundtrack is the main highlight in the movie. It’s beyond EPIC! The singer decapitates a chick, rips the heart out of a chick, and rips some guts too as he sings “Killer on the Loose” live on stage in front of a dimwitted audience. “I’m Back,” and “Rainbow Eyes” are other killer songs performed on stage as unintentional hilarity ensues. I got to admit (as do other Rocktober Blood fans) that the movie does have some dreadfully slow parts in the middle. It consists of stretched out suspense. Normally that would shit a movie over for me but Rocktober Blood totally redeems itself and more with the awesome beginning and awesome ending. I can overlook that crappy middle because of the opening kills and ending kills (with music!). The story is about some rockstar (Billy) going crazy one day in the studio and killing people that happened to be there. He was later sentenced to the electric chair. Couple years later, the chick of the band continues the band and starts the Rocktober Blood tour. Strange things start happening though. The chick starts being haunted by Billy (but I thought he was dead, oh no!). Is this Billy a ghost? Is he only in her head? Is he even Billy? Find out yourself by sitting through a horrible movie just for the shocking conclusion, badass music, and sweet nacho-cheesy kills! GORE = 8 SHIT = Good cheese trash DEATH = to you, you must find out what Rainbow Eyes is or you’re not my friend...no wonder I don’t have that many friends.

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